Shepherd My Sheep

Amplified Bible John 21:16 Again He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me [with total commitment and devotion]?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You [with a deep, personal affection, as for a close friend].” Jesus said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.”

Being a shepherd is a boring kind of job, looking after sheep day in and day out, alone in the field.
Sometimes it looks a lot like motherhood, isn’t it? ​( and if you’re like me, you may add specifically “homeschool mother” ). ​

We’re mostly alone in the house with our children.

​ ( Well, again, if you’re like me, “alone” means “happiness” because I’m craving my alone time.. that would be really “alone” just with myself, thinking and recharging.. but this one I mean “alone with the crowds” which I don’t prefer.. )

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We’re responsible of those little people who are not always listen to us, cleaning up the house and mess they made, making sure their little body have enough healthy food as well as their souls.
Think about doing those same things for hundred of times, years after years.

Both shepherds and mothers require the same strength and persistence, and other quality characters that only can be manifested by a wholehearted devotion. Self-discipline, unselfishness, responsibility, problem-solving, consistency, patience, and even dying for selves.

No wonder Jesus told Peter until three times, “If you love me (with total commitment and devotion), shepherd my sheep.”

Think about our children as Jesus’ sheep. And yes, they’re His precious little lambs. He loves them to the point He gives them His life. And He didn’t make mistake when He chose us as their shepherds. He asks us seriously because this is the most important both job and ministry you would ever do, “Do you love me ( mention your name here )? Shepherd my sheep.”

Blessings,

10 Ways to Love the One You’re With

“If you’re not satisfied with the child you already have, try to work things out, don’t bring in a younger one.” – Honest Toddler

“Try to see your child as a seed that came in a packet without a label.  Your job is to provide the right environment and nutrients and to pull the weeds. You can’t decide what kind of flower you’ll get or in which season it will bloom.” — Anonymous

If you’re like most parents, there are times when you’d like to submit your child to “Extreme Child Makeover.”  (That’s a reality show playing in a living room near you.)  Maybe you wish your shrinking violet would stop clinging to you when you drop her off at school.  Maybe you’re mortified about the way he clobbers the other kids. Maybe her shriek in public makes you cringe. Maybe you just always wanted a girl and you were blessed with two raucous boys.

But as we approach Valentines Day, let’s remind ourselves of one thing we know for certain about child development. Children who feel loved and cherished thrive. 

That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved, accepted and cherished for exactly who they are. 

The hard work for us as parents is accepting who our child is, including the things we wish we could change – and cherishing him or her for being that person, even while guiding behavior. How can you do this?

1. Delight in your child. The most important factor in your child’s development may be your delight in him. Be sure you tell your child daily how lucky you feel that you get to be his parent, and that you could never love anyone else more than you love him.

2. Really notice your child — aloud — so she feels seen: “You’ve been working for a long time on that tower.” “You love being in the water.” “That makes you so mad!”  The point isn’t to evaluate her behavior, but to let her know that you see and accept who she actually is, by acknowledging what she does and how she’s reacting to the world.

3. Use a positive lens. When something about your child’s behavior makes you unhappy, remember that weaknesses are always the flip side of that person’s strengths. If she has trouble controlling her anger when her brother disrespects her, is she a passionate fighter against injustice? Is his dawdling a sign of the imagination that will someday make him a great novelist?

4. See things from his perspective.  Maybe his behavior is irritating to you, but it’s always understandable if you take the time to see his viewpoint. Ok, so he hit the baby. Do whatever you need to in the future to prevent a recurrence, including not leaving them alone. But don’t punish him either, because that will just exacerbate the terror of losing you that drove him to act so aggressively. (You did get a replacement child, after all. He can be forgiven for wondering if he’s lost his place in your heart.) If you can connect deeply with him so that he feels your love is indestructible, his terror will diminish, and his love for the baby will have a chance to bloom.

5. Empathize. Once children are no longer always on our laps or in our presence, it can get more challenging to stay connected. But every time your child expresses anything, that’s an opportunity to connect. Just empathize:

• “You sound disappointed.”
• “It sounds like you wish…”
• “It’s exciting, isn’t it?”

 When you welcome your child’s emotions, you’re giving him the help he needs to learn to manage them: “You’re sad that you can’t stay up with the big kids. It’s ok to cry. It’s hard to have to go to bed when other kids are still up. Let’s read an extra book tonight so we can snuggle longer and help you feel better.”

6. Help your child learn to manage her challenges without negative labeling. How? Describe that you’ve noticed this wonderful thing about her, but sometimes the flip side of this trait can be a challenge to live with — both for her and other people.  Ask her if she has ideas about how to manage it so she gets the benefits but not the drawbacks.  If you or her other parent has the same trait, point that out and talk about learning to manage it.  Make your story positive and hopeful. That will help her to feel less alone and more optimistic about handling what may seem like a daunting challenge. Be sure to make it clear that everyone changes, and that as we grow up, it gets easier to manage ourselves.

7. Remember that most of what upsets parents is developmentally normal. They act like children because they are children. That doesn’t mean they’ll grow up to be criminals. Kids need to know that they don’t make mistakes because they’re bad, but because they’re human, and, in many cases, because they’re children: “I know you didn’t mean to yell at your friend when you got upset.  You’ve been working hard not to lose your temper. I had a hard time managing my temper when I was eight too. It will get easier as you get older.”

8. Own your reactions.  Sometimes we think it’s self-evident that our child should change. But what bothers one parent might not bother another. A high energy kid might might fit right in with some families but exhaust others. And often, it’s our stress that makes us over-react. Try expressing your needs as “I” statements rather than criticism: “I see you feel like jumping around right now.  I’m tired and a little cranky, and the noise is too much for me. Do you want to go outside and play or down in the basement to jump on the old mattress?”

9. Look in the mirror.  Often what drives us crazy about our child is something that we can’t acknowledge about ourselves. If we think our child is obstinate, we might want to look at who he’s pushing up against. It takes two to have a power struggle. If we think she’s a “drama queen,” is that because we had to stuff our own big feelings when our parents told us to stop over-reacting?  If we can stretch ourselves to grow, we often find that our issue with our child melts away.

10. Remember when you were a child, how vulnerable you were, how much you just wanted someone to see and appreciate you? That’s what your child needs. You play a larger than life role in your child’s psyche. For the rest of her life, how she hears what you say to her will be her inner voice.

If you always worry that your child isn’t quite good enough, he’ll always worry, too. But if you can accept him exactly as he is and help him to see himself positively, he’ll be on the road to learning how to manage even the most challenging character traits.

Even more important, he’ll feel cherished for who he is. He’ll have a big heart, able to love deeply and feel loved in return. And that’s a valentine that will last for life.

by Dr. Laura Markham, founder of AhaParenting.com and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life

From the original article 10 Ways to Love the One You’re With

Building with Care

“For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building. Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ. Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.”
1 Corinthians 3:10-15

Whether we realize it or not, we are currently building something. We are building our marriage, children, family, carreer, ministry, friendship.

Whatever we build, we have to build it with care, make sure we put our best effort on it because one day whatever kind of work we’ve done  will be revealed. But most important is the foundation. No matter how great your building, it is the foundation that will make it stand and last.

Do not compare your building with others. People tend to see only what their eyes can see. Just like we see a building, we only see the outside appearance, but not the foundation. The foundation is always invisible, underground. Then we do not know the quality of a building only by what our eyes see.

As homeschooling moms, make sure we lay Jesus Christ as the rock foundation on our children’s life. Otherwise, whatever we built on it won’t last. Make it our priority to train their characters and find opportunities in ordinary daily life to lead them to Christ.

What we are doing is for God, not for men. Therefore we are not discouraged when there is no praise or acknowledgement from people. Yes, we are builders but also servants. May what we do today bring glory only to His name.

In His grace,

I Want to Google…

I gave an empty list of “I want to google…” for my 7 & 9 yo, they’re free to write anything they want to know and by weekend we’ll google it together. See what I find. All the other questions are fine, but “Why we live” and “How to have wisdom”… speechless for a moment.. tough questions google can’t answer for them 😀 😀 but I’m glad they ask.

My purpose was to start interesting discussion based on topics they’re curious about, and when it comes from their own curiousity, learning would not be bored! 😀

If you’re interested to try with your kids at home, here is the printable of the empty form.

I want to google

Blessings,

Eight ways to show your family love throughout your homeschool day

Shared from Sonlight blog. Showing love to our family are as simple as these eight ways, but yet need commitment and consistency to do it everyday 🙂

Eight ways to show your family love throughout your homeschool day.

Have you looked at any Valentine’s Day boards on Pinterest? They’re bursting with heart-shaped craftiness. But rest assured – although you are free to do so, you don’t have to make fancy crafts in order to show your family you love them. Homeschooling naturally offers many ways to intentionally spread the love in your family.

For me, showing love sometimes felt as natural as breathing. At other times, my kids had pushed all my buttons, I felt exhausted, and I had to seriously pray for God’s help to still show love. No matter where you are on that spectrum right now, here are a few ideas of how to be intentional with sharing love in the midst of your homeschool days:

1. Savor your Read-Aloud timesTake a deep breath and enjoy your times reading aloud with your children. If they’re still little, notice the feel of their small bodies in your lap. Take this quiet time with them to remember how much you love them and how grateful you are for them.
2. Learn about the five love languages and use them allIf you don’t know about the five love languages, I highly suggest you look into it. Adults can usually identify the top one or two ways they prefer to receive love, but it’s harder to identify in children. It’s important we “fill up their love tanks” with all five languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. We can incorporate all of these into our homeschool with a little thought. (For example, Read-Aloud time naturally works in two of those ways: physical touch and quality time.)

Sonlight mom Amanda R shares a special moment with her daughter as they read and bake together.

1. Notice their interests and nurture themWhat grabs your children’s attention right now? Are they enthralled with American pioneers, or butterflies, or electrical circuits? Take them to the library to find books on the topic. Find appropriate videos online to watch. Let them develop their own crafts or projects on the subject. These small gestures let your children know that what they think matters.
2. Pay attention to your own needsYou will have much more to give your family if you are also taking care of yourself. You really do need basics like sleep, healthy food, and plenty of water. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and to make time for little things that rejuvenate you (perhaps a bubble bath once a week, an occasional walk by yourself, or a coffee date with a friend). Our Inspire 25 event with Heidi St. John and Crystal Paine offered some great advice in this arena. Listen to the recorded event here.
3. Truly listen to your childrenI know how easy it is to go on autopilot when your kids are chattering. But try to take time to stop and really hear them. Homeschooling with Sonlight provides many opportunities for good conversations about things that matter, but you can’t always predict when those conversations will happen. When your child asks an important question out of the blue, recognize it as a precious opportunity to listen and talk with (not just at) your child. I made it a point that whenever one of my children came into the room, I would put down what I was doing and focus on whatever they had to say. It’s easier said than done, but the rewards over the long haul are priceless.
4. Help siblings show love to each otherA huge benefit of homeschooling can be strengthened sibling relationships. Sharing so much time and so many experiences together can build deep bonds. But it can also provide lots of room for conflict to develop. So take time to teach your children how to resolve their conflicts. You can role play what to do when a little sister feels annoying, or when your kids can’t agree on what game to play. This training can pay huge dividends in the years to come.
5. Apologize to your childrenWe have all messed up in parenting. I certainly have. We have all lost our temper, acted selfishly, or mixed up our priorities. When you have sinned against your children, give them the enormous gift of modeling repentance. Acknowledge what you did wrong and genuinely apologize for it. This helps restore relationships and it teaches children that we don’t have to be perfect in order to love each other and grow.
6. Remember your spouseDuring our busy homeschooling years, John and I made it a point to go on a walk together every night, just the two of us. What a difference this small habit made in our relationship! Also, since John’s primary love language is physical touch, I would get up and greet him with a kiss whenever he left the house or returned. We would hold hands while we prayed, and I would make it a point to hold his hand or put my arm around him at church, or put my hand on his thigh when he drove. Small gestures like this helped him receive love the way he was designed to. Again, the Inspire 25 event gave some great ideas to help homeschoolers stay connected to their spouse.

And remember – we have love to give to others because God has first loved us. You don’t have to give from an empty tank. God’s love for you is extravagant and real. I pray you can live from that reality as you serve your family in this great calling.

Blessings to you and yours,
Sarita

You Don’t Have Enough Patience to Homeschool? Neither Do I!

Recently a new friend came to visit our home with her children and when she discovered that I homeschool my children, she said “I could never do that!”. I told her that I was thankful she didn’t show up a few hours earlier, when our home looked like about to explode with the mess and this “what-she thought-a-getting-all-together” momma was juggling all around head to toe between delaying lessons, bickering kids, uncleaned dishes in the kitchen, and unprepared dinner! uh oh.

I got the same types of comments from some other friends too.

“Wow. You’re amazing! I could never be home with the kids all day.”

“You’re such a super mom! I don’t have enough patience such as yours.”

“You’re a great mom doing this for your children.”

I think, “You must have seen the wrong screensaver, folks. Gotta see the real view overhere.” LOL.

People often say that homeschooler moms belong to super moms group. Well, it’s far from true.

I never feel like a mom who thinks she has it all together, in fact I thought I never could. Some days I really ever considered napping in the midst of lessons ( me napping, not the kids 😀 ), and often I also wished there was a magic box which can bring me a surrogate to take care of the children while I’m taking an hour or two for myself. Now, that’s what I call the fiction-fantasy story.

Homeschooling doesn’t make me a better mom.

It is a choice we make for our family and a commitment we believe in, but unfortunately those two things don’t magically turn me into a great mom or teacher my kids need.

It is a lot of pressure being a homeschooling mom. It’s hard to be a wife, housekeeper, personal assistant, nurse, driver, and everything else plus be the teacher.

It is hard to juggle two different grades, two different ages, and two totally different learning styles. Thankfully I have only two, what if I have four? Five? Eight? 😀

Now, I’m not complaining or feeling sorry for myself, and of course I never meant to be discouraging those of you who might be considering to homeschool. I’m just admitting that it’s hard sometimes.

But, in fact… with all its ups and downs; worries and fears; I really wouldn’t trade this homeschooling lifestyle for anything. I love being with our kids. I love learning alongside them. I love being there at that moment when they get a new concept for the first time. I’ve never felt such happiness and contentment like I feel today. I thought, maybe God has made and prepared me for such as time like this.

“You don’t have enough patience to homeschool? Neither do I!”

But, being impatient doesn’t stop me to do God’s calling for my family, I realize that God sovereignity is far beyond my limited abilities. The reality is we are all just doing the best we can every day, offering our meager efforts up to the Lord and allowing Him to multiply them beyond what we can ask or imagine. When we depend on Him, He shows up, takes our hand, and gently leads us down this path He has called us to.

In our weaknesses He is merciful.

Literature Study

This is our first year of literature study ( with my 8 and 6 y.o ) and here are our lapbooks. We chose Call of the Wild Classic Starts version as retold from the Jack London original, which was the first one we did. ( The Call of the Wild tells the tale of an extraordinary Yukon sled dog. Buck was always a peaceful animal, but one day he is kidnapped and made to work as a sled dog. Can Buck find a way to trust men again? Or will he eventually succumb to his instincts that the wild has awaken in him? )

It went well though we took quite long time to finish it ( about a month ) since English is not our primary language, but my children enjoyed the whole progress and it is the most important thing for a kick-off! 🙂

Next was Abraham Lincoln, which was my daughter choice. We used two different books Who Was Abraham Lincoln? and Abe Lincoln: The Boy Who Loved Books and lapbook materials from homeschoolshare.  We found good characters traits and moral lesson to discuss from these books.

But what we love most was The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis! My children kept asking to continue chapter after chapter, so this one is highly recommended if you would like to start a great literature study with your children.

The story tells the tale of four adventurers as they discover a fantastical land called Narnia. The story begins during World War II when four siblings are evacuated from London to escape the Blitz. They are sent to live with Professor Kirke in the English countryside. There they discover a wardrobe that is actually a secret doorway to a magical world named Narnia. Adventure ensues when one of them is captured by power of the White Witch, but just when all hope is lost, the Great Lion Aslan returns! His appearance signals a great change….and a great sacrifice.

This story is filled with fun and memorable  characters who display all kinds of character traits which make for wonderful discussions! The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was listed in Times 2005 list of the 100 best English-language novels written since 1923, and has since been published in 47 foreign languages.

Thanks to Confessions of a Homeschooler that provided such a great lapbook material. We also use resouces from homeschoolshare which has tons of free lapbooks 😀

My goal was to cultivate the love of reading in my children, so I tried to make literature study to be fun for the kids ( as I anticipated they would be bored :p ) and did not put a lot of pressure on them, so glad that now it is one of their favorite subject 🙂 READING IS A JOY! 🙂

What do you suggest for a great literature study for young elementary students?

Compost Art

Homeschooling Success

Every homeschooling mom ( at least once in her lifetime, on in my case.. once a day ) doubts her ability to teach her kids everything they needed to know to succeed. We often question ourselves, “What if I fail?”, “What if my kids don’t learn?” ( or in more dramatical way, “What if I ruin my children’s future?” ).
We feel that we’re not smart enough. Well, the next time you feel that way, this is the truth : yes, you are not smart enough. And none of us are.
That’s the single perfect reason why we have to stop doing it all with our own strength and start to depend on God. If He is the One who called you to do it, then He’ll be the One who will give you wisdom and knowledge necessary to teach and train your children.

What are your homeschooling goals? How do you determine if you (or your students) are being successful?

 

Why We Homeschool

A Calling and a Privilege
Sometimes like any other moms i also doubt my insanity to ever take this decision of homeschooling for our children ( who doesn’t? ) and it happened more than once.
Now, don’t worry, it’s normal 🙂
That’s why i wrote all these reasons of why we homeschool, since i found it helpful to encourage myself. I need to write this to remind me of how we ever made the decision in the first place, and to hang on toughly.
The Calling
I believe that my family was called to do it. Ever since i read Deuteronomy 4:9 which says “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” and Deuteronomy 6:5-7 “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” I know that was it. The calling. For me.
God has given me those precious children, together with the responsibility to do what is right for them, and He is holding me accountable for the way I do that job. Why am I giving it to someone else?
I wander how am I to teach my children when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up if my children were gone all day ? How am i going to impress them in their heart if they are not with me during everyday ordinary life? ( Later i know ordinary daily life gives me best opportunities to teach my children valuable lessons they couldn’t get if they’re only sitting in a classroom filled with same-aged children as them ).

The privilege
The followings are the next other reasons of why we homeschool : I CAN BE with my loved ones most of the time, in the most comfort place in the world called HOME, watching them grow and learn! ( without rushing from one homework to another, or worrying about tomorrow exams! ;p ). As parents I can control over my children’s education and everything they are learning, even I can individualize our children’s education ( children all learn differently and should be allowed to learn differently ), I can get to know each of my children better, I can teach through real life learning and living books, I don’t need to worry about peer pressure or bullying, I can have freedom to decide our own schedule.
School ( nowadays, in my place. I hope it will change someday. ) will only left us with so little time to be in a rush to prepare for its next day, not to mention all of the courses outside school, both me and the kids would be physically and emotionally tired. That’s just not what I wanted. I wanted to share our family life values with them and build a more meaningful relationship with me as their parents instead of learning all those academic things i believe they can catch up later when they’re older.
But my time with them is too short, they will soon grow up as time flies so quickly. I don’t want to regret things when they’ve passed, so I am blessed to have this opportunity to be with them while they’re still in home.
An Extra Bonus
And to me, this is the best part of it 🙂 we don’t need to get up too early to fight with the traffic just to arrive at school on time.
But most of all, I can have a peace of mind, knowing that I am walking in God’s calling for my family. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk about them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down , and when you rise up.” – Deuteronomy 6:7
Have you ever doubt your insanity when deciding to homeschool ? 🙂
Why do you homeschool ? 🙂